"The Scream..."

Sometimes, things could get worst...and it frustrates me a lot...
I just couldn't understand, I feel so naive...am I?
really feel like wanna scream...those embarrassment that I really couldn't stand...
I'm a person that really afraid of kindness...
I feel difficult to accept people's kindness without any reasons...
(family and best friends are exceptional...)
I'll rather to be the person who gives out but not receiving...
I'll feel uncomfortable if I keep on receiving ppl's kindness...like "oh please,dun treat me so well"
saying "Thank you" is not gonna repay anything but just a manner...
practicing such behavior might be one of the reason of why I'm still single...
although I still have such thoughts, but as I grow older...things could change...
Instead, I hope to accept kindness sincerely...
if the kindness is on purpose,why dun you tell me directly?
those artificial kindness was like sooo EXTRA!
It's true that you might not being sincere while treating other ppl...
because you do not know who is he/she~why should you do so if he/she isn't...
in this way, I would always expect my friends to be honest...or at least...dun be fake...
but if you don't...I really had no idea what I'm gonna treat you as...maybe like a hollow man?
most probably...I was too lazy to do any contradiction...it's hard...and it's not worth it...
I'm chill now...really really chill...

"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!"