Suddenly, I realize a very virtual me...
a very emotional and insane me...

When I really got mad, I do act really impolite, rude and easily release all my anger to people surrounding me without telling anyone what's wrong with me but just yelling like a freak with suck attitude. Yaaa, I admit it...and I truly did not realize until my Bf wanted me to tell him, I only started to think and found out that...this is really me.

I've been told by my Bff that our manager told her I'm not doughty at all sometimes.

While I was working, there are too many things to handle with, as a waitress you're definitely afraid of getting complaints, unsatisfactory and bad feed back from my table. Besides that, when I'm tired or not even feeling well...the drama happens...

I remember last time I was sick, weak and dizzy...and I'm handling 4 tables and one long table. Most of them ordered for plain water, I was like...what the shittie SHIT!those glasses are HUGE and I need to run few rounds with full hands of glasses every time...SO BLOODY HEAVY!!!and unfortunately, nobody's able to help me...in fact they are helping the others but not me...why were they so PILIH KASIH??

so I did everything by my own but I went to hide the toilet and cry after that...aiks><, now think back so paiseh...after some heavy crying, I went back to continue my work. But that time sure with reddish eye and running nose, so a lot of people came and 'care'...this really pissed me off and I dun wanna talk...I even yelled at my manager and tell him to LEAVE ME ALONE!how dare me...

I really noticed that, I could really easily harm innocent people surrounding me...very very emotional right??sigh...my personalities split quite often, can even completely understand what I really want...I can be very cheer becoz I act like nothing happened and totally forget about it; but when I got those unhappy stuff recalled, I'm back to the emo-brat me.

I believe that there are problems do not meant to be solved...but forgotten...truly not optimistic at all....